So, okay, Gloria. Here's the deal:

Eventually, I just came out and said, casually, that I liked her. That I was thinking about it, that I didn't know what she thought, that if she didn't want to, she didn't have to.

And she, uh, basically said yes and I was really really happy.

But that she wanted to keep it quiet, and that she didn't want to rush into anything. I didn't mind. Just spending time with her is like 90% of it.

She came over on March 1st, Saturday, and we hung out for 9 hours. And we watched two movies. But we weren't really watching them the whole time, and we sorta made out on the couch a lot. She's so much better at it than I am.

And then she came over yesterday.

We were sitting on the couch, "watching" a movie, and we were talking, holding hands, etc. Then she dared me to do something crazy, something I've always wanted to do but never had the guts to do. I didn't even know what that meant. And for some reason, it made me amazingly nervous. And then I eventually stopped shaking.

But she told me, really quickly, that she couldn't go out with me because she's too honest with me, that if she went out with me, she'd ruin me, et cetera.

I was amazingly disappointed. I still am.

She's let me know a number of times that she's an extremely dishonest person, and I believe she is, but not half as bad as she says she is. If she's lying about how great she is, then that's one thing. But I don't think she is. And I don't know, it just doesn't seem like there's much reason.

She made me realize that I don't break any rules. But she told me that it makes my life boring, but I don't care how boring it is. I don't want to change who I am, not just for her. Not just for anybody.

Man, that's the second time that kissing off a relationship has screwed me up. Not making that mistake again.